Medicine From The Trenches

Experiences from medical school, residency and beyond.

Meeting the Challenge

I continue to train for an upcoming marathon. Making the change from middle distance to long distance has been a great mental and physical challenge. My goal is to complete the 26.2 miles even if I find that I am walking part of the distance. To complete this challenge is my goal that I have contemplated, trained and taken steps toward. I have to have the confidence to continue to train and make positive movement toward this challenge/goal much as I have met other challenges in my life.

Yes, thoughts of not being successful creep into my head from time to time but the sheer pleasure of my longer training runs has been of great comfort. I can’t say with certainty, that I will cover the distance. A shorter run this past week was uncomfortable (cold damp weather) and difficult to complete. Each mile was harder then the previous mile but my mind would not allow me to give up. Even if I am the last person to cross the finish line, I was determined to finish and I finished standing up. I learned a bit about my mental toughness and I greatly appreciated those standing along the route who cheered me on; gave me Hi Fives and were so affirming.

Losing the friendship of one of my best marathon advisers weighed heavily on my mind in a couple of my training runs. I was saddened by his rejection of my friendship but I respect his wishes. Respect is something that I have to keep for him. He is brilliant, sensitive and not in medicine/surgery which is why I can respect his wishes. If we were good friends , as I thought, time will allow us to resume communication at some point in the future but for now, I run, I study, I read and I keep moving forward, one step at a time because that is what my nature and my work requires me to do.

The loss of my friend was heart-breaking but my work is of great reward. I found myself assisting others more than I could imagine this week; a task that brought affirmation for me professionally. I found myself renewed in my search for excellence in everything that I touched. I found myself looking back into why I considered medicine/surgery in the first place. These “look-backs” and self-examinations are great for renewed energy when work seems to become a bit routine or even stressful. As I have said in other posts, nothing about medicine/surgery is ever routine because we touch the lives of our patients (and students, residents) in ways that we can’t imagine.

Sometimes I am prone to forget that the practice of medicine is a great privilege. I have been given the opportunity to put excellence in my work and see the results of that excellence. A bad day or week here and there, is the price that I pay for the privilege of my medical practice. There are journals to be read; studies to be reviewed, a book chapter to be completed and student work to be assessed and graded. I want to be fair and accurate in my reviews and grading which can cause long hours on my part.

I also have a trip coming up that will put me in contact with some of my residency professors whom I have not seen in more than 20 years. To see these gentlemen scholars, both of whom are great teachers/mentors will be a wonderful experience. I am looking forward to seeing how much they have changed and allowing them to see the changes in me. These men profoundly changed how I practice and how I approach my patients. I am grateful for all of the training and “busting of chops” that these men put me through during residency. Since they didn’t “kill” me, they made me stronger and resilient; I suspect that they know this fact well.

One of the greatest joys of a professor is seeing their trainees move into practice and develop. Much of medicine and surgery is learned from mentor to trainee in a one-on-one manner but overall, there is great joy in seeing the results of that one-on-one relationship. I don’t want my trainees to be exactly like me for I want them to take what they can from my teaching and flourish in their own style. I want my trainees to go as far as they wish and I wish them “Godspeed” in what they accomplish and in their triumphs.

To this end, there is no ego on my part but only a sincere wish that they do more, accomplish more and move past my training. Training under me is such a small part of all that they will do as any training period is just preparation. In medicine we put much emphasis into getting into medical school and getting into a solid residency training program but actually, the emphasis should be on the daily practice and keeping it from not being routine.

After all, we as physicians can never know the impact that we have on those around us. This impact is the best part of the practice and it is the part over which we have the most control. This is why I take each day for the wonder that it is, as this is the challenge that I must meet daily.

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1 May, 2016 - Posted by | medical school, residency, surgery |

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