Medicine From The Trenches

Experiences from undergradute, graduate school, medical school, residency and beyond.

End of the year reflections

At the end of each calendar year, I try to reflect on what I have learned and what surprises me. After some years of teaching and medical/surgical practice, one would believe that there is nothing surprising out there for an old surgeon but I have moments of amazement and wonder every day. This is the nature of my practice of medicine even today.

This past year, I have become more comfortable with my extreme connections with my patients and students. I see the greatness of their humanity and in the case of my students, I have had some moments of disappointment in their lack of humanity. In the case of my patients, I see more humanity because I spend more and more time with those who have cognitive, intellectual and physical impairments.

My patients with cognitive impairments often communicate without words. For me, this is the greatest gift that I have received from them and I am fortunate to be able to stop and make those connections. From a wonderful colleague (Daniel C. Potts MD; his blog is linked to this blog), I have learned to be more mindful which has enabled me to stop in the moment and appreciate all that this group of patients has to say and wants to say. These relationships are pure gold for me.

My patients with intellectual impairments show me the wonder of human achievement daily. Most of this group of patients thrive on having a physician that connects with them and not their caregiver or the person hired to accompany them on visits to the physician’s clinic. It takes a bit more time to make that connection but the relationship here is as rich for me as for the patient. I am thankful that I make and take the time to give these patients what they crave no matter how much it falls outside of the time constraints.

My students have been the greatest surprise this year; not always in a rewarding manner. Many have shown an unwillingness to meet goals in the professionalism that the practice of medicine demands. I know that it is my job, as professor, to make sure that they have the tools for practice but this year has been a challenge for me in many ways.

Many of my students have a fixation on comparing themselves to others. My mantra for countering these comparisons is to say that the only person with whom one can compare, is yourself. Every day, or every second for that matter, is a chance to change your thinking. What another person does or does not do, has no bearing on what you can do for yourself. I constantly remind my students to use social media for information but evaluate that information and surely do not use what is posted on Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook as a means of comparison with others. You have to be the best person that you can be and not compare yourself to what you believe others are.

The lack of appreciation for the humanity of those who would be the future patients for my students is also a challenge for me as their professor. I was fortunate to have mentors and professors in medicine and surgery who reminded me of the privilege of practice. My professors spoke often of the extreme trust that patients place in physicians. We earn that trust by mastery of our craft and by humility because we are not the healers; we are the instruments of healing. To practice medicine/surgery for ego is a straight line for burnout and exhaustion because of all professions, medicine will destroy an ego very quickly.

I am grateful for being able to climb onto the roof of my hospital (14 floors up) and just meditate in the early mornings. In the predawn darkness, I can hear the traffic below, smell the fuel of the helicopter as it lands and I can take a few moments in the stillness of that place to center myself. I can see for miles on some mornings but on others, I am surrounded by rain and fog which is equally comforting. My days of sailing have taught me to love the moments before the sun rises and appreciate the ever changing colors of each new day.

As the Christmas holidays approach and the first semester has come to an end, I try to take some moments to appreciate my wonderful friends. They are a source of wonder and discovery. This year, one very new friend has been a “touchstone” for me in terms of validating what I always knew in terms of the spiritual nature of medicine. His friendship has been truly inspiring and affirming. Though we are totally opposite in just about every aspect of our lives, we are in total agreement in terms of how we approach medicine. I am very grateful for all that I learn from him on a daily basis.

This year has been one of change for me as I have achieved many of my goals in terms of physical and mental conditioning. I have made running and weightlifting a significant part of my lifestyle. I was a varsity athlete in college but moved away from regular conditioning as I navigated graduate and medical school. I have reached many of my physical goals, being able to play rugby again but I am working on getting stronger and stronger.

This year, I learned to kayak (my new means of exploring nature) which has added a different range of being able to appreciate being outdoors. Being solitary in nature for me, has always meant hiking, again so that I can be alone with my thoughts and meditations. With learning to kayak, I have been able to explore rivers and two of the Great Lakes (Erie and Superior). Being on the water alone in a kayak is to perceive much in terms of spirit renewal. I strongly recommend finding some means to get away with your thoughts and enjoy what is around even if you are only able to take a walk in a nearby park.

This year, one of my extreme experiences was to spend a week hiking Joshua Tree National Park in the California desert. There is no location on earth like this magical place. The desert was magical, spiritual and allowed me to appreciate each grain of sand that surrounded me along with the huge stone formations of Joshua Tree. The Joshua trees were amazing in that no two are alike but all are like friends with arms outstretched in fellowship. I loved each spine on each cactus plant too. The desert, the surrounding mountains and the Joshua trees gave me a great sense of place in humanity.

As this semester ends for those who are in medical school, those trying to gain admission to medical school and for those who are in some stage of medical practice, I would hope that you strive to see your place in humanity by any means that you can. I would also hope that you enjoy the spiritual and connective nature of the profession that you have dedicated yourself to. There is pure magic in what we do on a daily basis and I am very grateful for the privilege to see that magic.

 

 

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17 December, 2015 - Posted by | academics, medical school | , ,

3 Comments »

  1. Thank you for this inspiring post. I’m always encouraged when I hear how passionate you still are about medicine even after years of practicing. Thank you also for the reminder not to compare ourselves to others. This is something I struggled with for many years and I only started to get over that habit in my 30s. It has given me such a sense of freedom not to compare myself anymore and has also made me appreciate the way God made me. Have a wonderful Christmas and God bless you!

    Comment by Malaika | 17 December, 2015 | Reply

    • Thank-you so very much! There is much in life and medicine to be passionate about! You and your writing give me much hope for the future.

      Comment by drnjbmd | 17 December, 2015 | Reply

      • That’s awesome! Thank you!

        Comment by Malaika | 17 December, 2015


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